


Stages of grief. .Denial

by Surisun



Series: Too late for Stiles [2]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Crying, Denial, Depression, Dying Stiles, Gen, Guilt, Hurt Stiles, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-14 23:27:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11793663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Surisun/pseuds/Surisun
Summary: Derek Hale doesn't care about anything, not after his family died and he reluctantly joint a pack of teenagers.But then Stiles does something that shows Derek    that he still cares after all , only it is too late now ...Sequel to my story Time's up , picks up from where it ended there so you are advised to read that one first.Update: chapter 2 is added





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For BlueRoseJuliet and Cecile78  
> You guys asked for a sequel, so I am doing the stages of grief series , each one will shows one of the most important people in Stiles life and whom his death will affect badly. .  
> *as usual everyone, I hope you enjoy it

Denial...

When Stiles leaves his phone at Derek's ,the ware wolf decides to keep it till they meet next time, after all nothing could be that urgent ,not texting Scott or Lydia will not kill Stiles for one night , he thinks but doesnt bother to check, because if he did he would've known that no one was texting Stiles since very long time. He is just about to turn of the lights and go to sleep when the phone starts vibrating repeatedly and he honestly considers just turning it off, but then he sees the word 'Dad' displayed on the screen and he feels little bad for not answering . The sheriff voice is irritated when he asks him where is Stiles and why isn't he answering his cell or the house phone if he alredy lift home ?  
Derek just assures him that the teenager forgot his phone and he probably at home long time ago fast asleep , but for whatever reason the sheriff doesn't waive.

It's weird how the man has this unexplained urge to check on his son's wellbeing all of a sudden, maybe he is feeling it in his heart that something is wrong or maybe it is a mare coincidence that is brought by the lack of any thing else to do?  
Whatever it's , Derek has no option but to reluctantly tell him that he would go to their house and check on Stiles , all togather while cursing under his breath and swearing to make Stiles pay for ruining his night like that.  
He doesn't see the Jeep anywhere along the road, and when he reaches the the Stilinski household , the said car is parked haphazardly in the usual spot which makes Derek even more determined to punch the careless human.  
He walks to the doorsteps and starts knocking but he receives no answer and when he casually try the door handle, he finds it unlocked. At this point he doesn't know whether it is Stiles being careless or something else is going on.  
All the lights are switched of , the house is bathed in weird darkness, so he calls Stiles loudly, not liking the thick silence in the air .  
Stiles is yet not answering but Derek assumes the teenager must be sleeping deeply, dead to this world, and that would be explaining why he wasn't answering his dad earlier.  
Still he walks to Stiles room expecting to see the lump under the sheets, only that he finds nothing.  
The only light he can see at this point is a thin line under a closed bathroom door and he tries not to admit that something doesn't feel right so he walks fast towards it till his nose catches a familiar cuppery scent that stops him dead in his place with momentary panic.  
But then he is running , hitting the door hestiricallly while calling the boy's name , he doesn't care that he is leaving a permanent damage to the sinless door , right now this door can be the thin line that is separating between Stiles life and death . 

The smell is dizzying and his own blood turns cold when he finally puches the door open .

"No!No! this is not happening! That can't be happening ! "

Stiles is laying in a bath of blood, head leaned back ,eye closed and face almost as white as the white bathtub.  
Red water is everywhere that when Derek tries to reach the limp boy he stumples and almost falls..

Everything is insanely still and meaningless. 

He hears no heart beats but tries to tell himself that his own are just too loud in his ears that they are masking Stiles quiet ones and despite the urgency he can't help but to walk slowly like he is afraid of disturbing Stiles rest. The truth is he is actually afraid of reaching him and finding out that it is already too late. He swallows hard and crouches beside the quiet figure focusing every cell in his body to catch any trace of life, only there is nothing!  
"Stiles.."  
He half whispers half sobs , feeling like a five year old kid who wants to run and hide under the covers.  
Every thing is so sureal and nothing feels real , Stiles is utterly calm, relaxed and still in away that Derek has never seen before. He almost looks like he is in sleeping in peace, except it is no way true because this silent figure is nothing like Stiles!  
He holds him with a soft gentleness to his chest, buries his own face in the boy's wet hair and cries , rocks their combined bodies like a mother calming her upset baby, he speaks nonsense in Stiles ears willing him to wake up and stop playing , telling him that it is not funny to do that and there is no way he will be going to forgive him if he doesn't open his eyes right now!  
But the boy never wakes and Derek gets desperate , He carries him to his bed and lays him down, covers him with a thick blanket and bands the still sluggishly bleeding wrists . One more time , he puts his ear on the the boy's chest, then he breaks in crying .  
He feel detached, prison within his own useless body , he doesn't know how to fix this and he can't accept the fact that he failed.  
Beside, how can this be happening?! Stiles was just there in the apartment, less than hour ago, talking and laughing and messing around! How the hell the boy from earlier can be ..Dead !

Stiles is... DEAD! !

He sobs again and asks why?  
Looking at Stiles like the answer is craved on his forehead,  
" why would you do this ?!"  
But isn't that a secret that Stiles will be taking to cofen with him?!

In the future, when the shock wears off and Derek realise that this is not some sort of sick nightmare , he will blame himself for not calling an ambulance the minute he smelled blood, for how selfish he was when he froze like that ,because what if Stiles was to be saved and Derek gave up on him too early?  
It is one more thing that the werewolf would have to live with forever and not be able to ever forgive himself for.

Stiles face in his holy rest looks nothing like his parents burnt faces or Laura's chopped off head but the nauseous feeling in Derek's stomach is identical, one might think he got used to death after seeing so many but nothing prepares for the death of someone you know and love , nothing. .

Life turns out to be a big tricky snake, letting him believe he is having a break only so it can hit him low when he is not looking. Just when he is ready to get close to Stiles and wants to know him better, the human does something like that out off the blue!

Is it because of Derek? Is it because the were wolf is so self centred in this point of his life , trying to heal and all, so buzy in his own world to the the point of missing out that Stiles wasn't okay too?!

Or is it because Derek never actually did anything beside shoving him around and calling him a weak idiot human? 

But Derek has always thought that Stiles knew it is not really the what the wolf believed! That Stiles had the insight to see behind all the anger and frustration and how Derek can't express himself in any other way! That the older man only didn't want to get hurt himself! 

Stiles knew that, right ?

Stiles didn't kill himself because of Derek, right?

Right?!

He looks at the boy and begs him one more time to wake up,speaking the truth for the first time, " you can't die now Stiles! Not before I tell you that I really like you ! And respect you and value your opinions, Stiles, I don't really think your week or stupid ! No no , I actually think you are quiet the opposite , you are smart and brave and you are the only one who I think about as my b-best friend!" He bites his lips and tries to take away the human's pain in a lame attempt to stop the suffocating feeling in his own chest from swallowing him.. but no black veins come out of the cold pale skin .Derek knows it is because either that Stiles is not in pain or he is not alive, and as much as the answer is clear he finds a hard time to wrap his mind around it.

He stubbornly refuses to let the boy goes and hugs him tightly to his chest, not registeing he was crying his eyes out for a quiet some time now till he hears the front door opens and the Sheriff's voice fills the house.  
He is suddenly scared that the man will come in and sees his son lying down like this, not breathing..  
NOT BREATHING!!  
He is scared that the man will come in and this turns out to be real and not the nightmare that Derek is hoping to scream himself awake from .  
The steps get closer accompanied with the loud calling and Derek forces his eye shut in anticipation,  
" this can't be happening! This is not real !!"  
But then the sheriff walks in and freezes ..

Oh god !


	2. The litter

It is a week after Stiles Funeral when Derek opens the first page of one of his favorite books, only to find a folded paper,

" Derek..  
I am sorry you had a bad life, I am sorry you lost your family and I am sorry you live with so much guilt all the time.

But I am not really sorry cause I didn't do any of it!  
I tried to be different with you , when everyone around you was either pitying you or scared of you I wasn't . I tried to be your friend. I tried to listen to you when you needed to speak and talk to you when you needed to hear ,without ever taking you out of your comfort zone or forcing you to do things you didn't like.  
But all the time you took what you needed from me and never reciprocated , one moment you liked me and the next one you treated me like I am not good enough to be your friend.  
I thought it was the age gap ,after all I am a scrawny teenager and you are a twenty something werewolf, or maybe it was because I am a breakable human and you are invisible alpha? but I also thought I owned your respect after everything we went through? I thought you will be looking at me differently after saving your life in the pool that night with the Kanima , and then many times after?!

It turns out I was mistaken. 

All your violence and your hurtful words , things I had attributed to your past and your bad social skills , all these turned out to be part of who you really are, erogant selfish jerk who doesn't care about anyone but himself. 

In November 19th ,the anniversary of my mom's passing away, I came to your house.  
I don't even know if you care enough to remember? so, let's jog your memory little bit, shall we?  
My Dad was in the middle of solving a murder crime and Scott had some argument with his girlfriend and was running in the woods alone to clear his head. Neither of them remembered but I couldn't just stay home alone that day, so , I came to your apartment Derek.  
But you...  
You never even let me in!  
You saw my tears and you smelled my sadness and automatically assumed it was something stupid!  
Not even bothering to check, You told me you were waiting for some alpha to come and that you didn't have time for my teenage soap opera !  
Then you asked me to never come back outside the pack meeting nights , you said you had your own life and you are not a baby sitter! 

But Derek, when you ever baby sat me?! 

I was the one who came to your house with food and movies to take your mind away off things whenever you had a bad night!  
Oh, remember, the time I give you a shoulder to cry on when you spent all the night talking about Laura? 

Or when I kept telling you that Peter's death wasn't your fault and you only did the right thing?  
Or all the times I truly cared Derek ?! Me, the scrawny ,weak, little human who had no problem listening to you pouring your heart out without ever judging you or blaming you.  
Instead I cried with you, Derek and I told you that every thing is going to be okay ,just so you don't feel alone in your misery, I dived in with you!

And God... I was stupid enough to hope you are going to do the same when I need you, and you won't turn your back on me when I was in my worst conditions, when my world turns black and my my heart feels empty!  
I gave you a million chance! 

But every time you proved me wrong , you shuttered my soul in to tiny little pieces and threw it away like trash .  
Your voice chanted loud in my head that I would never be good enough to deserve your acknowledgement! 

Why was it too hard for you to be there when I just wanted someone to listen Derek?  
Was I really just a pain in your ass?!

Did you really hate me this much?!

I would say that I loved you , but the truth is ,I never really did.  
You broke me Derek , you broke my heart, and I hope you enjoy a long lonely life , sour wolf, I hope you enjoy what you gave me "


End file.
